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Warning: TMI. Don't read further if you don't care to read about labor.

Since my water broke, they had to admit me. I was so excited until they checked my progress: 1 cm. Bummer. And I wasn't having contractions. They hooked me up to all kinds of monitors and I laid in bed for about 2 hours. Since baby was still high and my water had broken, I wasn't allowed to walk around since they feared the cord would hang down and wrap around his neck. So much for learning all of those labor positions in our birthing classes.

At about 2:30am they started pitocin to induce my labor. It worked and I began having contractions pretty quick. Skyler timed them, which gave him something to do. At one point, a few hours later, the midwife checked my progress and I was still only 3 cm. I made the decision to get an epidural. The anesthesiologist administered the epidural to me at about 8:30am. I was nervous getting an epidural because I worried that I would be the 1 in 100 that gets the 3-day migraine headache. I was surprised at how unpainful getting the epidural was. Several people told me afterwards that getting the epidural was the most painful part of labor. I wish.

The epidural began to take effect, but only on the left side of my body. The anesthesiologist came back an hour later and pulled out the needle just a little bit. That did the trick and I was fully numb in no time. Heaven. Why I didn't get an epidural sooner is a mistake I won't make next time. I had originally wanted to go all natural. People kept telling me that labor would be so easy for me since I was so active. I guess I'm not as strong as I thought/hoped.

It was crazy watching how strong and long my contractions were and not being able to feel a thing. Skyler and I were finally able to get a little bit of sleep. Checking into a hospital right before you normally go to sleep is not the most ideal situation. I was tired, but too excited to sleep. My mom came and visited with me for a little bit. I was happy to see her.

At about 2:00pm my midwife checked my progress and it was time for me to push. Problem was that I couldn't feel a thing. I did a test push and nothing happened. After attempting a few more times, the midwife told me that they would have to take me off the epidural. I was feeling so good and didn't think it would be an issue.

I had to wait 30 minutes for the epidural to wear off. The feeling started to return to my hips and thighs, but nothing else. I was ready to begin pushing. Because I still couldn't feel the contractions very much, Skyler had to tell me when to push. The first 30 minutes wasn't too bad, but then I started to get pain in my hips and thighs. I wasn't expecting this at all. I couldn't believe how painful it was! No matter what position I was in, my hips and thighs were throbbing. I started to look forward to pushing because it meant I was getting closer to getting baby out. The nurse asked if I wanted a mirror and I said no. I don't know how Skyler was able to watch the whole thing. He was very helpful, but he couldn't take away my pain. I wanted it to be over. I wanted the midwife to say, "Ok, ok, you've had enough, I'll just pull this baby out." I wanted another way to get him out.

After almost two hours of pushing, I was getting tired of hearing "you're almost there." Every part of my body was weak. I didn't know how much more I could take. I don't remember what time it happened, but the midwife told me I needed an episiotomy. Skyler was quick to ask if it were possible not to have one. She explained why I needed one and Skyler asked me if it was ok. I cried "yes!" I didn't care, I wanted him out!

The nurse that had been there through most of my labor told me that her shift ended at 4pm and she wanted to see my baby being born. That gave me motivation to get him out. After several extremely difficult and painful pushes, the midwife said, "His head is out!" One more push and his shoulders were out. She then told me to reach down and grab him. My plan was to not touch the baby until he was out and clean, but I did as I was told. I grabbed onto him and pulled him the rest of the way out and onto my chest. It was a surreal experience.




At 4:01pm he arrived. He was here! I was done pushing! I was equally happy for both of those things to be true. I held this little boy close and didn't want to let him go. After a few minutes, the nurse took him from me to do the cleaning, weighing, footprints, and whatever else they do. Our baby was 8 pounds, 11 ounces, and almost 22" long. Quite a big baby!




That's when things took a turn for the worse for me. The midwife was busy doing something on me and I kept wondering when I was going to deliver the placenta. She never asked me to push again. I could tell that something was wrong. After about an hour of her working on me, she was finished. I felt awful! I began shaking and couldn't stop. I was freezing cold. The nurse put 3 or 4 heated blankets on me, but I was still shaking uncontrollably. It turns out that I had began hemorrhaging about the baby came out. I lost so much blood that they were considering a blood transfusion. After talking with Skyler's aunt weeks later, I learned that I had probably gone into shock. It seemed like I laid shaking under the blankets for an hour, but I have no idea how long it was. The new nurse who started her shift asked me at one point if I wanted to feed my baby. I was surprised she asked, as I felt like I was dying. I said no and immediately started crying because I felt like a bad mom. I couldn't even feed my baby!




Finally the shaking began to subside a little bit. Skyler brought the baby to me and asked if I wanted to hold him. All of a sudden I felt the urge to vomit. I told Skyler to get the baby away from me and I was soon vomiting everywhere. The new nurse tried to catch it in a small tray, but it just ricocheted back onto my face. It was disgusting! After a few minutes I stopped and I suddenly felt so much better.

Around 6:00pm it was time for me to move into the recovery room. I was not anxious to do anything. They put me in a wheelchair and handed me the baby. My arms were almost too weak to hold him. I was exhausted! I hadn't slept at all the night before and I labored all day. All I wanted to do was go to sleep. But I couldn't. Our family was there to see the baby. My original plan was to not have anyone visit us until we got some sleep after the delivery. Plans change though.

It was great to see so much of our family there. I needed the morale support. They weren't allowed to hold the baby because he hadn't been bathed yet. While they were there the nurse took my temperature and it was 103. My body was busy trying to fix itself.

After everyone left, a different nurse came in to show us how to bathe the baby. The voice in my head kept screaming, "GO AWAY! I WANT TO SLEEP!" Didn't they know I was exhausted? I was delirious and I'm pretty sure I started to say some weird things. Finally at 9:00pm I was left alone to get some sleep. Luckily, I learned, babies get enough nourishment from the mother's body to survive 24 hours without getting fed. Thank goodness because I was in no position to feed him. Little baby boy slept great. Our first night was such a blur to me. I don't remember him crying at all. Skyler took over the duties of changing his diaper. I couldn't have survived the next few days without him. Skyler is such a great husband and already a great dad.

We left the hospital on Tuesday night, almost 3 days after checking in. By that time I was thrilled to be leaving. We had our little baby boy: Desmond Kendrick Wallace.